risk blooming

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin

In searching for an affirmation this morning I came across this one.  With power it speaks to me.  I am truly sorry for the people I have wronged in my life when I was addicted and in pain. To finally be set free from all of that is a lifelong process that begins with a choice.  For this moment, this hour, this day I will choose. The only really meaningful apologies are the ones we make with the intention of not repeating the same harm. I wanted to get myself together and grow spiritually first before I apologize to the people I have wronged. I have the power to forgive myself.

I am 14 days without cigarettes, I saved 86.00, and one more day of my life.

It makes me wonder what I did before I smoked. Certainly I must have had something I did that was satisfying to me.  It was suggested to me by former smokers who have quit to focus on what I want from life.  Also to dedicate that time to something worthwhile. I am going to ponder those two things. I just know that quitting has opened a whole new world to me.  A world of knowledge , discovering things, and a devotion to learning.  Perhaps it was always there, but the addiction kept me preoccupied.

I want to focus more on learning.

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