Archive for the friends, family Category

in the quiet…

Posted in art, friends, family, mind & spirit on January 1, 2014 by jengrabesculpture

In the quiet hours of early dawn I walked up the gravel road to the ridge to watch the sunrise fall across the Franklin Mts. It makes a lovely orange purple pink glow against the backdrop of deep rust colored rock. As I walked along I thought of younger days…days when my son was newborn and I was 20.  What would make me think of those mornings so long ago? Cold mornings when I worked harvesting grapefruits and oranges in Clermont, Fl . A hard living just to barely support our little family. The mornings were cold like this one. If I was lucky, I could afford a cup of coffee and then I could eat oranges and grapefruits till we received our daily pay and could purchase food for dinner. I didn’t even know how to cook or make coffee.  In the more southern area around Homestead,where the vegetables were being harvested,  all winter we could eat for free.  We moved wherever there was work. Like a group of ants we lived the life of foragers, out of our van or living in tenements that we would pay for daily.  A Nomadic lifestyle moving from campground to campground, sleeping in a bedroll on the ground or in the van to avoid mosquitos or fire ants.   In those days you could drive up and sleep on the beach.  Nomadic life can wear you down, but it can also make you grateful for what you have. I grew up in the suburbs of DC, and only moved once in the same town I was born in until my 18th birthday. Then I was on my way to Alaska to get as far away from home as possible.  Perhaps its the sense of adventure that lured me away from wanting a home and nesting. But one grows tired of carrying their bag from pillar to post. People that have a home know something that I do not, some great secret , or gem of truth that eludes me.  I only wanted to care for my loved ones. It is because of my benefactor that I have a warm , dry, comfy place to sleep.  It is not mine, I am a steward to care for it.  So today, this New Years Day, I am grateful for things big and small. I am grateful for beauty in the quiet early dawn, restful sleep, and for a healthy body to walk and work.  

it’s a dirty business

Posted in friends, family, love, relationships, sex on December 18, 2013 by jengrabesculpture

vintage datingOnline dating has taught me many things the first being that it is a dirty business. A great deal of dating websites are deceptive in their advertising. Once they get all of your profile information is when they inform you that you will have to pay to answer or contact any of the other persons on the site. That, my friend is the reason I have been on the only truly free dating website most of my single life. First of all, its kind of a false environment. People can be anything they want to be on the internet. I have met a few sincere people in person that I met on line in my experience. That being said, I am not jaded, as much as I am realistic in my expectations. I didn’t get a paid subscription till recently. I spent the $20 because the letters had piled up in my inbox and I was curious to read each one. I only got a subscription for one month. Just the possibility of meeting someone decent fueled my curiosity. Out of 100 items of fodder and fluff in the form of smiles, cards, and notes I was able to glean about five sincere notes of significance. I answered every card, smile and note just to say a thank you even if I wasn’t interested. It was worth it to spend twenty dollars to glean five real friendships.
I want most of all to be friends first and then I might be ready for something more!
Gone are the days when mutual attraction was a gauge for how to measure a person. In this day and age when a person can plagiarize or steal someone else’s identity with ease, as you could imagine I am guarded in my estimation of people. I solicited a background check before dating someone. All it takes is one bad experience and thereafter I proceed with caution. I say this laughing because I can laugh about it now. I am friends with many officers of the law and thanks to their expertise I have been able to avoid any possible danger. Now it just comes down to common sense in regards to getting to know someone.
The best online clubs do just that. They encourage and foster friendships. Like in real life groups are a good place to meet eligible singletons. Everyone knows someone who is single. Its a fairly safe environment to get to know someone. Girls become friends rather than competition. We help each other in our search and can recommend and keep each other safe. Without endorsing any particular club I will say that what I look for I would recommend an online dating service that acts more like a club. Real people get together off line and have an activity together. There is always a monitor in the chat room to keep things respectful. When you report someone, they are investigated by a specialist on the site and if found to be in violation of club rules are removed.
Overall it has been a positive experience even with all the romance scammers out there . As Kelly Clarkson put  it so well: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Next time I hope to talk about how to set up a decent profile, as well as cues to look for in profiles that are just out and out , “wrong”.